Not a Monster
by OCD ADD Goldfish
Summary: Evan Rosier remembers his first Hogsmead weekend and the first girl to reject him. COMPLETE.


**Disclaimer:** World of H. P. not mine.

**A/n:** For Round 5 of The Quidditch League Competition (Season 2)

_Team:_ Falmouth Falcons  
_Position:_ 2nd Chaser

_Character:_ Evan Rosier  
_Event:_ First Hogsmead Weekend

**Round Prompts:** (song) If I Die Young by Band of Perry; (quote) A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.- John Barrymore; (word) Pencil.

* * *

**~x~X~x~  
Not a Monster  
~x~X~x~**

_What I never did is done_

_A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar_  
_They're worth so much more after I'm a goner_  
_And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'_  
_Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'_

_If I die young, bury me in satin_  
_Lay me down on a bed of roses_  
-Band of Perry, If I Die Young

~X~

It's strange, the things that come to you, when you know your facing your death. The things that you remember, as the flash of green goes off.

There were a million thoughts going through his mind in just one second.

He was twenty-one and soon to be dead. That seemed so young... there was so much he hadn't done... so much he wanted to do... he'd never even married... or ever really been in love...

But then, he'd once heard, " _A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams_" and... there really was so much to regret... maybe he _was_ old.

~X~

_He really should have known better. There was a reason she was sitting alone, after all. _

_Aurora Sinistra was far from a social butterfly. She was, to an extent, an antisocial recluse, who preferred her own company then that of most others. _

_She wasn't exactly rude, but she had a dry wit, and most of what came out of her mouth when she bothered to talk to anyone, had a ring of sarcasm to it. _

_Evan couldn't really explain what it was about the dark-haired Slytherin girl that drew him to her. Perhaps it was because despite her smile being as smirk and being a girl of few words for anyone she found not worth her time, she was never cruel. _

_Or perhaps it was because he found her silky, wavy, dark hair beautiful. Her smirk somehow intriguing. And her dark eyes, framed by even darker and thicker lashes, were bewitching. _

_To him, she was simply so pretty. And she was as dark as the sun was bright, and Evan didn't know why her parents would name her after the dawn, but he thought perhaps it has something to do with her beauty (even if Avery and Mulciber were of the opinion that she was barely pretty, but the wand shoved up her bum made her intolerable)._

_But Evan didn't really care what Mulciber and Avery had to say on the matter, Aurora Sinistra was a pureblood. Perhaps her family was not one of the sacred forty, but it was enough for him. And she was pretty and clever and unlike other girls; she didn't spend her time watching him like a dolt because she thought that he looked like some kind of painted angel. _

_And so... he decided it was a good idea to approach her._

_She simply looked so pretty, sitting at the table by herself, with charcoal pencil in hand, her long dark hair draped on the white paper. He couldn't help himself being extremely curious about what she may be drawing, and furthermore, he'd always been too stubborn for his own good. _

_Screwing up his courage, Evan got up from where he was seated with Mulciber, Avery and Snape and made his way over to her table. It was their first Hogsmead weekend after all, and shouldn't he make it memorable by trying to talk to the girl he'd fancied for the better part of a year?_

_As if sensing his approach, Aurora looked up. Her face momentarily spasmed as if it twitched to form a grimace before she regained control of herself. A slender brow arched over her famously dark eyes, eyes so dark that they could have been drawn in by the charcoal pencil in her hand. _

_As he stood opposite of her, with his long hands clenching the back of the seat opposite of her, she'd subtly moved her sketchbook further and further until he couldn't see what she'd drawn as she tilted the book over the edge and pulled it to her lap before shutting it with the pencil inside. _

"_May I sit?" he asked her, hoping he didn't sound as nervous as he felt, and giving her a smile that made most other girls melt. _

_It had absolutely not effect on Aurora, who did not return his smile, but nodded her head nonetheless. "All right."_

_Evan sat down, trying to keep cool and collected, even with the sensation of flutters in his stomach. Vaguely, he was aware of his mates staring at the back of him and he could feel their eyes boring into him, but he did his best to ignore it and not blush under Aurora's scrutiny. _

"_What were you drawing?" Evan asked, lacking anything better to say. _

_Aurora seemed reluctant to reply, and narrowed her eyes at him in annoyance. "Is there something in particular you wanted, Evan?" Aurora asked, and though her words were sharp enough, her tone was polite and even curious, though he knew that was a facade. He could see the suspicion and annoyance burning brightly in her dark gaze. _

"_I just wanted to talk..." he said, trying to keep himself from sounding confused. _

"_Why?" Aurora asked, and making what he imagined could have been a friendly chat and a wonderful time, extremely difficult and awkward. _

_Briefly, Evan wondered what the hell Aurora and Snape managed to talk about. She always seemed chatty enough with _him_. And Snape even complained that Aurora talked too much. _

_Evan found himself at a complete loss and feeling simultaneously jealous of both Snape and Aurora. _

_Aurora held Snape's attention the way that Evan couldn't quite hope to, even with his pureblood status; she got almost as much attention as that mudblood, and Aurora wasn't even good at Potions! _

_While Snape had... Aurora's friendship, a thing that she only gave to one other Slytherin and that was to one of her dorm-mates. _

"_Because I like you..." Evan mumbled embarrassed, which didn't seem to come as much of a surprise to Aurora who snapped her book shut. _

_She gave a weary sigh, and looked at Evan like she pitied him for being a dolt. But he wasn't a dolt, and he felt offended, even as his stomach twisted. _

"_You don't like me, Evan. I think you like the idea of me," Aurora argued, in calm and matter-of-fact tones that made it difficult to argue with. But Evan was stubborn and a fighter, and argue is just what he did. _

"_No! I like you," Evan stated, slightly annoyed that she'd presume to tell him that she knew his sentiments better than he himself did. _

"_I'm not going to argue with you, Evan. Look, I'm trying to let you down easy and tell you that you and I... it's not going to happen. Ever," Aurora stated as she stood, slipping her materials into the bag that was slung over her shoulder. _

"_But why," Evan asked as he too stood and stopped Aurora from walking even further away by grabbing onto her elbow. _

_Briefly, Aurora's gaze flitted away from his and stopped at the table where Mulciber, Avery and Snape were seated and Evan felt his stomach drop. _

_Somewhere in his subconscious, he knew it all along, but he just refused to see it. _

"_Because... you're," Aurora flushed as she looked down, and Evan briefly wondered if her statement ended in- Not HIM- and felt sick. How could she want a half-blood over him?! _

_She looked up at him and seemed to know what he was thinking, because her eyes hardened and her lips thinned into a straight line. _

"_That," she nearly spat. "That right there, is why not. Because you think, because of your blood that you're so much better than everyone else... as if your blood status is some worthy achievement instead of chance. Because that superior way of thinking leads to people like yourself, believing they have a right to rule over people you see as inferior and committing awful crimes against them. Because you're the type that will stop at nothing to prove something... and you're just a monster waiting to happen, no matter how pretty you are you can't hide-"_

_But Evan couldn't listen to any more of her whispered ravings, not when she was speaking and looking at him with such open loathing and disgust._

"_Do you really think Snape is any better?" Evan hissed, his face having gone red and his heart feeling like it had been interred. "Even if he were... do you think, you even have a chance against that Gryffindor mudblood?"_

_And now she was as red as he was, and her dark eyes appeared misty. But Aurora was stubborn too, and the teenage girl would not cry. _

_She swallowed the lump in her throat and Evan felt himself softening. _

"_Even if you're right... It's NEVER going to be _you_," Aurora stated in a voice barely above a whisper before yanking her arm from his grip and dashing away. _

_And though Evan felt his heart-breaking, felt like Aurora had slapped him across the face before shredding through his heart and soul... he knew that he wasn't done with her yet... that he couldn't give up on her just yet. _

~X~

Evan was always too stubborn for his own good. He was always a fighter, and there was no way he would give up _this_ fight, and spend his life in Azakaban.

He'd rather go down fighting.

**~END~**

**Review!**


End file.
